you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
