I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
