Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
