No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
