i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
