Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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