I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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