I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
