Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
