bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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