Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize