Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the condom got lost in my hair
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
