he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
