I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
