What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
