i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
