yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
