its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize