some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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