Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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