When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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