I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
