My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
FUCK WHALES
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