I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize