just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i dont even know how to be here
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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