I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
