apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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