Me. At least after what I've been through.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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