Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
