You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Two words: blizzard sex
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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