I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
