Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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