I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize