When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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