Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
