this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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