So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
