We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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