It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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