Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
