White coat. Heels.
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.