I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.