Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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