think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
