she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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