FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
