I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
