none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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