Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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