STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
well you can't waste a boner
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
