So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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