what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
