So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
