Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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