I want to make a zoo with you.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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