We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
