Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize