the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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