Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
