you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
