Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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