so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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