Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We talked him into tasing himself.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Randomize