apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The best revenge is premature balding
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
