I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i already hear my dad disowning me
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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