It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Sorry my hands just texted you
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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