Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
