He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
