They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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