hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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