he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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